Invisible in the LORD

Invisible in the LORD

By Deb Munson
During the message on 4/14/24, “Truth When Battling Depression”, I listened with interest as Lindsay explained the different causes and types of depression. I suddenly realized that I have actually been through a state of depression a few years back and didn’t realize it as such. It was a place where I continued to function in life, yet in a state of invisibility. A place where I became invisible to so many that I thought were friends and family in Christ. In a place of isolation where I was void of emotions, hurt, angry, distrustful, with a loss of identity, a loss of fellowship and hopelessness.

As the years have passed and I look back on that time of being invisible, I realize how it was actually the Father’s hand over my broken heart, spirit and soul that made me invisible. It was my loving and all-powerful Father who made me anonymous for a period of time so that He could work a deeper healing in my heart, cutting away places of sin, including pride.

Pride, a self-esteeming attitude that had crept in as I started to see the fruit of my hard work and my position. But the truth is, I was just the vessel that God used to produce that fruit. So, as I was hidden under the loving hand of the LORD, I was allowed to weep, hurt and feel the loss of my former position, all the while being held in the safety of a loving Father’s hand.

I know healing is a process and at times I find myself reliving the pain, the isolation and the darkness.  I find this very frightening and still battle the temptation to dissolve into the shadows. But I am becoming quicker at seeing the poison arrows the enemy sends to create lies to disable and derail me from what God has created me to be.

Our Father doesn’t want me to run and hide any longer. He has a new place for me to be, it may not be in some lofty position, God isn’t always about amazing highly visible position or fame, sometimes it is quietly working alongside others. But God is always about teaching us the necessity of being with Him, being available to be His handservant and to love and humbly serve others.  

My new place isn’t easy for me. There is not a clearly defined job description with bullet points, or defined agenda or a detailed 5-year plan, and honestly at times it feels like I am in a free fall. Yet within the unclear, uncertain, and undefined space that I find myself in, there is peace.

Peace in this new place where I don’t need to strive for greatness or position, instead just learn to “be”. To be firmly in the palm of my Father’s hand, floating under the canopy of His mighty love. Yes, a free fall through uncharted territory, but learning as I go to once again be in love with Jesus, to be more like my Savior and to be in His light allowing it to shine in and through me burning away the invisibility.
Look, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are continually before me. Isaiah 49:16